this is my clown page!


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not a photographer




It has been one year since I updated this website. I gave my energy to other things and I think I went too far out,

and now I am coming back. the world is changing and everything happens so fast now now now now and I'm not sure how to slow down sometimes

I applied to Grad school

I went to paris this year

I got a dream job

I subletted my studio

I drew a little

I ate a little

I have lived in New York for 10 years now.

maybe lets start by what is most recent to me. this is the last thing I made. I have nearly stopped making drawings for the past year (except for the Job, which I will get to-) and this terrifies me. I used to make things all the time. Now I just sit and watch the days go by. its not okay i dont feel okay I subletted my studio. wasnt using it might not ever again but I have a lot of shit that is still there.
grad school.....i applied to grad school. spoiler alert: i did NOT get into any schools. I applied to NINE schools for an MFA. and i applied to all the ones you KNOW, so dont ask. I wanted to apply for some random schools in seattle or denver but a mentor of mine told me 'if youre going to do it, DO IT' meaning- apply to the big ones. so i did and i didnt get in. my mentor also asked me 'why do you want to go to grad school' and i bascially said 'idk lol' which could be why i didnt get in. its possible that the admissions board could read through my BS and knew 'this bitch has NO idea whats going on' and its true. but to be honest, I know that NO ONE has any idea whats going on, ever. my ego hurts from the experience, my brain hurt (writing about this shit is HARD) my wallet hurts from fees, but other than that- no harm, i would say. I thought if i got into one school i could think about it and decide later but now i dont even have that choice. its great. I also have been praying at the church of brad troemel every day and I dont think grad school for an MFA is even a good idea. its all a game and I dont really want to try to play it anymore. somewhere in here is a good 'shouts and murmers' essay for the new yorker....

I went to paris after I sent in all my grad school apps. I stayed in monmarte (sp?). there is a winding path up to the top of monmarte where portrait artists gather and wait for people to pay for a portrait. I liked what I saw. i ate really good steak at the same restaurant three times. i read a book called The Friend by natasha nunez. I liked that in paris, people dont seem to work... everyone just sits for long stretches of time at cafes and eats and drinks. all day. no one is in a hurry and every dresses well. I thought 'the only 2nd class citizens i've seen this entire visit are american tourists'. i was only poo-pooed once, actually. i would live there. yesterday i bought a ticket back for 9 days but i got stoned and canceled it because i like being home right now and i dont feel like travelling alone.


this is a cat named Sara(h) who I met at the cemetery in monmarte. I was sitting in the cemetery (I saw a ghost there....2nd time in my life i seend a ghost) and this cutie lil stray sat down near by for a sun-nap. she allowed me to pet her which i did for a few minutes before an old woman came running towards me and yelling 'sara! sara!' which tbh freaked me out until i realized it was the cat's name, too. the story I gave sarah was that she died as a human and was burried in cemetere monmarte. she came back in cat form because her lover still comes to visit the grave site.


sarah is 13. i doubt i will see her again but i know where to look when i go back

i went to versailles and the louvre, but my favorite museum was the musee de orsay. i cried when i saw The Remorse ( pictured above). this is the first painting to ever make me cry. i thought that shit is just in movies but no. it was just so beautiful.

another favorite from the musee de orsay

i was able to draw out there, not much but something. i made a book of drawings from paris which i like :) some other people liked it, they bought it. but i like it so.

kiss kiss bitch. still use this sleeping mask i got on the plane



before grad school apps and before paris, i spent a lot of time in winter drawing from movies. maybe you will recognize some of these.

i got seriously into pencil late 2018

(not from a movie^, just a personal hero)


somewhere in the middle of all this, i went to the Hilma aft Klimt show at the googoo with my friend'saerial and sam. her paintings are really big.

A: hilma aft klimt is a genius ahead of her time/from another realm. she paints the auras and hums and the currents of energies and spirits, only she can see them and translates them into beautiful pieces of work us civilians to enjoy but never fully understand.

B: hilma aft klimt is an entirely made up being, the show at the gugenheim is an elaborate scam by a performance artist we will only hear about in years to come. no one from her era had access to the colors she used in her paintings, its not possible. her reference in the movie Personal Shopper is only to corroborate the scam. (great movie)

me and sam scammed the line at the musuem. i scam u scam sam scam

my actual face while i heard bunny rogers do a 'reading' at the wide rainbow fundraiser i was supposed to be live-sketching at. i didnt make any good work. but a few years ago, i made good work about BUNNY ROGERS:





^so that is me, at home, just on my computer


subletted my studio because i wasnt using it. i wasnt using it because i was depressed, then i wasnt using it because i got a REALLY AWESOME JOB then the job ended and i was back to being depressed. (im always depressed bc i have depression) now im going to take my studion back in Sept just to see how it goes.

drew this celestial hoodie...a hoodie that you wearbut turns your face into a black hole. then i tried to make it into my halloween costume!!

my friend cheynna on halloween. i painted her face. i painted a lot of my friend's faces that night it was fun

drew my friend nora in her studio


tried to draw my friend jame's cat

its still true.


my favorite thing to write. i do not know who said it first. this is still mostly legible on my block. for about a month they dug up my street, waking me up before 8 am every day. this is unpleasant when i work night shifts and want to sleep in. when it came time for them to repave the cement i repaved it for them

got into eyeballs and highballs