this is my clown page!


if you like what you see here, send me an email :) *~for sale*~ for hire ~*

not a photographer



Aug 29th

twice in one week someone has come up to me and said "are you sara rabin the illustrator? i love your work". it made me feel so good but also confused and really really shy because i dont think i deserve that


i bought 8 of these papers and each one has a front and back. i drew on them and here they are. i wonder how much this special promotion cost.

Aug 28th






im experimenting with screen printing again


i started writing this post and then walked away because. when I came back my computer was dead and I lost my post. my computer was dead because the A/C that runs in my room causes the power to surge. I believe that the other people in my building, also running their A/Cs causes this power surge. If the future only means temperatures are rising, then this is going to be a big issue in the future. people will be over heating and there will be no electricity. for a few days this summer i had no AC and no WIFI and power which is humbling. i am a lucky person to have this comfort to begin with. i just dowloaded netflix movies while i had WIFI at my friends house and read and sweated on those nights.


the entry i was writing before i lost it was about my Review Review. the Review Review is when i review someone else's review. the NYT reviewed/did a whole big piece on DARREN that loveable sonofabitch. just kidding his mom is really nice too. whole family is nice. here is the article. I work for darren sometimes, doing illustrations or installation mockups. Darren is a contemporary artist, or as the article says, he is a ELABORATE PRANKSTER. imho, darren has the art world wrapped around his finger and he knows it and he is pushing and pushing and he is succeeding. the people love his work. darren enlists the wide cast of characters in his life (scultpors, animators, goat wranglers, soap makers, painters, architects, illustrators, doctors, lawyers, politicians, cermacists) to help him execute his ideas. then his ideas go into the gallery under his name, or not, depedning on the nature of the show. in my personal experience darren has treated each collaboration with COMPLETE FAIRNESS in pay and professionalism, he is honest- and the work-for-hire goes off without a hitch. there is always some risk that the authorship may get muddled, some of his galleries ommiting the technical artist, sometimes crediting them. The last time I worked for darren, he and the gallery put my name on the gallery's pamphlet! yay. that was nice. i posted the work before:

^that was very nice! that was a very nice/cool project i got to do for darren, and it went in a very 'hip' gallery in london, and i got to sign it. and it looks really good on my useless CV. i got to make my grandparents proud and put my 'illustration degree' LOL to use.


low and behold, a few months later, darren gets covered by NYT T magazine online and in print. the chances of my work being used ANY FURTHER than in the gallery seemed unlikely. but no, its being used in the NYT which is fucking great. another thing i can spin to please relatives and shove on my resume but COULD YOU HAVE PLEASE CREDITED ME, NYT.

no one believed someone other than Darren did the illustrations, and the staff had to be convinced that I did them until shown my signature. once they saw that I did them they responded "we just go based off what the gallery says" so I guess the gallery didnt want to include the fact that another artist did the art. which would spark an interesting debate i think, but were not here to debate. this is one sided, this is my opinion and youre reading it. "illustrations by sara rabin" might be CONFUSING in a article about ANOTHER ARTIST. what irks me though is they were not consistant. they decided to throw the names in of the people they wanted to. i wonder why. maybe those artist are more legit. they credited their photographer, their photographer's assistant, some of the artists in the Sadie Coles show but they didnt want to use my name. which is annoying and it feels like a slight to all aritsts who assist other artists. my drawings were in the NYT and i want credit. but because of the LUDACRIS flexability and ownership in the BULLSHIT WORLD OF CONTEMPORARY ART my name has been ommitted. where i come from, if you draw it and it gets published, your name goes on it.

i wont cry over spilled milk except when i want to. NYT and sadie coles spilt dat milky and one day imma com collect



lots of things that say other people's names but not mine:


and thats all i have to say about that for now.

some photos and words now

portait of alina kabaeva, one of the only rhythmic gymnasts i know and like and also putin's alleged mistress and mother of his child.

everything in august is so goddamn slow

i drew this some time around my birthday. i'm a cancer. i was thinking about how all my life i have FAILED to have core GROUP of friends (instead i have lots of close friends from lots of different groups or loners like myself). and it must be because i am a cancer!!!! so i hang w my crab. but i dont think i would fit in a group anyways. who needs it.

cecilia lisbon. she knew the outcome might not be worth the effort

thats a little cartoon about how i have to take a winter coat on the train with me in summer to get to work. its a bad cartoon and its not clear so i never shared it. also i learned in new york these are called 'micro climates'

just some dancers

this all studies about dairy queen 'whippies'. the whippy is what i call the curl on top. my best friend emily and i like to go to dairy queen on 14th street and have deep talks. emily is moving to LA next week. im not happy abut that





just a study of flowers in a cup.


a drawing of me or someone i know

this was the first receipt drawing i have done in a while. i was just discussing with other creative friends about the effects of moods on work. more specifically-the things that happen at the restaurant that used to bother me no long bother me. i am no longer taking my anger out on receipt paper because i simply an not angry. my expectations have gotten so low over my years of waitressing that i am not inspired to draw. on one hand, i am a lot more relaxed and happy. on the other hand, i am not making the drawings that once also gave me joy. oh well

i cut some of my 'practice' canvases because they were trash to begin with. now i am this man


this happened

"sir the phone its for you" series of secretaries.

shes just want so pass you the phone will you take it????

old pic of you and i and how we met

in the style of charles robinson who i decided i love

i went to some gallery in chelsea to see this painting by ambera wellman who i also decided i love. everytime i find a new artist i love i am afraid to look TOO long at their work for fear of accidentallycopying it in a bad way. (in a good way is when you are inspired and not copying). when i look at Rita Ackerman's work its like the eye of sauron. she KNOWS im looking and she can SEE i am absorbing her style the longer i look.


i think this will be a shirt soon. im slowing making some clothing and bags to put online for extra $$

i started juuling after i did this. i found two juuls and bought a charger and a pack of cucumer pods and now i look forward to getting rid of it when i finish the pod bc something isnt right about those black magic fuckery machines.

oil pastel experiments

"is that a gun in your pocket" vibes


i made some of these shirts. i feel guilty because the drawing is a reference photo i found online for 'crying anime eyes' and i stole it. it looks like many people stole it. i wonder who did the original, and i was 100% capable of coming up with a more original pair of crying anime eyes but i took the easy route. i am embroidering them and i will put them online to sell. i bought an embroidery hoop ! i have been quite the crafter lately.


most of my closest friends from college still live in NYC and we had a get together on sunday. it was really fun. were all just as confused about what the real world is like 4 years out.

i bought 8 supreme newspapers on aug 13th because i needed them to draw on.


July 30th

the older i get, the more i realize that control is just an illusion.

I always tell people “guess” if they ask for my sign because I find it entertaining. (I thought preconceived notions about oneself or others were harmful) but now in my 102nd year, I realize WE CAN BLAME THE MOON! We can blame saturn!! tell me your signs! tell me what time and where you were born, tell me about the moon and tell me about retrograde. Tell me whats rising and tell me who you are and aren’t supposed to match well with. Let us blame it all on time and place and space because thats it. Not sure what to do with your life? Wait for your Saturn to return. fighting with you SO? Just wait for the blood moon to wane and you two will be okay. relinquish all blame from the self. scapegoat in the stars….



1 year ago today was my Show. The roller coaster month that followed nearly took me down. i have always said i am grateful for that learning experience but I didnt know what I was getting into. I thought a year after a solo show with good writeups would take me somewhere but I feel llike I am in the exact same place or maybe even Ive gone backwards. but going backwards in a way is going forwards (unless i quit, but not today). there are lots of things (stupid or not) happening in art for my peers but not for me, im not included. maybe next time


this new painting im doing for no one but my fucking followerd and for whoever is reading this:

its says 'have you ever spent the entire day with someone and then found out it was their birthday?'

july 2nd

i had a birthday. im older now

i have been looking online for more jobs that are like grapchi design and photo retouching but i dont have the portfolio for it. i had an interview that went GREAT but I DIDNT HEAR BACK. it was at a creative agency. wtf is a creative agency? can someone tell me? i actually had a hard time explaining to anyone what kind of job it was going to be, but i know i was going to be photoshopping. oh well.

i messed up my messed up painting. 1. it dosnt feel right to photoshop an oil painting, 2. i dont like recylcing work. when i share or mess around with old work, it reminds of when tony soprano says " "remember the time...." is the lowest form of conversation. it means you have nothing to talk about anymore" and i agree with tony. looking at and sharing old work seems desperate but i guess thats just what i am now


okay good bye


june 23rd

more than ever i have no idea what to do. i

june 21st-

i slept terrible last night because my dreams gave me social anxiety. i was dreaming i was at a party with everyone, the party was a laundromat-lucien hybrid. i have been to lucien twice in a year. hah


jackhammers are legally allowed to start at 7 am, it turns out. the lights are too bright and my stomach hurts when i dont get enough sleep.

i've been thinking of Lacuna. I've been thinking of how narccistic my peers are through instargam. I am thinking how mystery is a currency. I want to be rich. I have been thinking if it possible to be successful without social media, and the answer is YES if you DONT LIVE HERE or YOU DONT CARE. I like living here. I am thinking about how if you want to get something done you have to do it yourself. I am listening to ABBA as I write this. I am thinking about how to share as little as possible with my family because they dont get it. I miss my friend's in Japan and envy their isolation, but only sometimes. I felt pretty yesterday


i really want to go on a trip but i dont want to go alone, but i can only think of a few people i can stand spending an extended period of time with CONSECUTIVELY.


whats the deal with gallery owner's and their artists? i dont think an artist should need a gallery. it just adds another echoing voice of criticism and we have enough of our own. this is my gallery. everything is for sale

this painting is SO UGLY i cant look away and I LOVE IT BUT its a really awkward thing to own. its too big and really hard to photograph.


this was my father's day card i made. it's astro boy and dr tenma. my only exposure to astro boy is from Naoki Urasaw's manga series Pluto which is my 2n favorite manga


june 10th-



a quick diary entry about anthony bourdain


April 24th

wow it has been another long break here on GIVE ME A HOT . DOG. sorry to all* my readers. i've been busy doing nothing and trying to take care of myself.



*probably no one

i dont know why no one is collecting my supreme art yet.





I got into a summer painting intensive at columbia. i very strongly believe that this painting (among my 9 other pieces for consideration of acceptance) got me in. I dont know why, I tried really hard to finish it for the application. it came from a powerful dream, and i think it got me in. i know it did.

I didnt realize the course costs 11,000$ and its non-credit so i cant get financial aid. I feel really dumb. I also felt scammed because who can really afford that? I felt less flattered about my acceptance because maybe they can take anyone who can pay the money. but then again they only accept 11 students, so idk. maybe i can still feel honored and like i earned something and like i'm talented, just not rich. the class would have been awesome. i wonder who can afford that. i wish i could look up the other people who got accepted and are taking the class

i got rejected from the other 5 places i applied to spend my summer at. i have to find something else to do.


drew some people at the Carlyle hotel  
sketchbook scans thinking about louise borgoise
these are my banana butterflies

i hate the doctors office. someone in spain sent me a grafiti of this image (someone drew it in oilstick on a wall,

they look it off my instagram. i dont mind. kind of cool)

an opera i wrote ^  






these are when i did a product rendering job for Barneys in 2016. I lke these vector drawings before I add color and finish.

If anyone has some CAD job for me like this hit me up, i work fast


picture of my son admiring my work in bed




these are slippers I drew on for Darren. it was for a show at Andrew Krepps gallery in chelsea wich is where my favorite art galleries are (jk).

working for darren actually rules though




my smoking goat.... he needs a suit.


these two ^^ black and white line drawings earned me some cash because people got prints! one is self portrait and the other is a kitten named Peter from Reddit

rose my muse. we are opposite artists but good friends







( i dont know this cat and i did not do that to him)

^found this i took in 2015 in Tokyo. thats a big tattoo....




Feb 22


I'm a party girl my body hurts

i drew this in class because i dont sit still




should i make this into a shirt




this mother and son with their groceries :) F train


I saw an exhibit of life drawings by a John Ruggeri. they are on display at SVA right now. I think they were made some time in the 80's. they are self explanitory and AMAZING.



here's a bad idea:





what should I do with this drawing?

me and ali we both like this photo of us

^playing with oil pastels

i made this shirt for myself but its crooked!


can he buy this if he likes it???? wth







Feb 8

I love love love love my advertising class. it keeps my brain busy all day thinking of ads and slogans. this is a little disturbing to me because i think the ad industry is immoral (people should really stop buying shit. just stop)and it feeds into the consumer culture of this shitty nation. but its SO FUN. the class is fun at least. i've never been a morally sound person so maybe its a good match...

i did a painting yesterday that says 'have you ever brushed your teeth or eaten while crying'. i have done both recently and its really fucking sad. i dont know i didnt stop eating or stop brushing my teeth. i think its denial.

if someone was watching someone else do that what would they think

it is blue and so am i :)


these are really stacking up


i put all my cards on to see if people order them but i havnt done anything to promote them. its hard to sell yourself. i also emailed like 15 editors for print and online to ask if they would hire me to livedraw at fashion week but no one answered LOL. ill try the same email again for next season's shows or just go fuck myself


Feb 5

this is me in another universe. i am back in CLASS again (intro to advertising continuing ed) so i have lots of time to doodle and let my mind turn to mush. but i do like the class i just have to move my hand the whole time because i am me.



Feb 3rd


i left for a few days. i went into the sun. I deleted instagram for a mintue because its too important to me. can you admit that? i'm also looking for something that isnt there. and im waiting for something that isnt there, and my brain is changing from it and i dont like it. so its good to take time off.

i have to change the fish's water. i dont want to. i wish he would die. i missed a few important deadlines, but they probably just werent that important, then.

Jan 26th.


"you used to love my bed"


50"x30", oil on canvas

oil sticks



WARNING the post below this one uploaded my images ROTATED. its very annoying. if you want to see the image right side up just open it in a new tab

its a new year! this year i plan to WASTE LESS and stop being a bully to myself. I've stopped drinking and smoking too. if i keep it up, great- if I dont then its okay too. i hate this racist country


i wish i could submit this as an artist statement^

recently I have had to write about my work or explain it. this is because I am applying for grants and residencies. the nature of my work is extremely chaotic, impulsive, nonlinear, nonsensical- i dont have a substantial body of work. my work is all over the place and looks like it came from more than one artist. this is something i am proud of at times (being interdisciplinary, 'mixed media artist') but it is also a hinderance when it comes to things like 'artist statement' or intent or bio or anything. I dont make sense to myself i am not sure how to make sense to someone else.

i am looking for a way to describe my identity. most of the time i feel like a shell.






after 2 weeks of feeling very discouraged about myself and my allover practice (shit), i finally reached some clarity. ask me about it if you see me, or else its just going to be for those who read my applications. for now. eventually i may be in the position, 'career'-wise, to explain a piece of my work to an audience. but i feel good about it.


this is a new text based paintings i have started. it says 'you used to love my bed' oil on canvas
my friend (and also sometimes boss) darren commissioned me to do this info-graphic for the wall of Sadie Coles HQ in london where he is having a show. Its a very nice gallery and i am honored to have something in there even though its darren's thing. its confusing but the project was fun and i love working with darren. he let me sign it. i wish i could go to london and see it. i am trying to. Its about putting a house in a bag. I titled it 'agoraphob's dream'
a mechanical man i drew at a musuem in NJ in 2015. the animatronic museum in morristown im old i hate me
also me another self portrait
me trying. should have kept my mouth shut i look retarded takako konishi...japanese woman found dead in the snow (with a bottle of champagne) in Fargo. the inspiration behind Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, a great film.
i went to the whitney. I was encouraged by others to see Laura Owen's show. which was 'nice' shes great at making big nice paintings in a unique style. i was really hungry while i was there so i almost left without seeing Jimmie Durham's showcase and WOW. WOW. folks DO NOT judge a book by its cover. i LOVED his work but its seemed so primitive and crafty and brown. I made a mistkake by writing it off. after investigating further and reading about the man and the pieces, i was enjoying the work and myself because a lot of it was pretty funny. the lesson here is dont be a stuckup idiot, sara. and dont write off work because you think it looks ugly, sara. pray to saint fridgo and repent

i was surprised and moved to see Durham's artistic and poetic interpretation of shakespeare's Caliban from the Tempest. (i have not read the tempest, i have read Dexter palmer's loose intepretation of the Tempest called The Dream of Perpetual motion).

Caliban is an ugly monster who cant see himself. he hates his father and is in love with his sister.

a dancer  

i did this painting in senior year of college. its on the back of a piece of wood from an Ikea drawer. It was for my last assignment in oil paintng class about anthropamorphic (sp?) animals. i think. the assignment was to give an animal HUMAN qualities. i hated school by that point and was DONE taking direction so i bullshitted this painting. it got A LOT of love from my professor (why??) and the most likes on any piece of work i have ever shared (why?????)


its inspired by the photos my facebook friend kept posting of her infant daughter's eye surgery.

another one from college. her face i liked. the rest of it sucked. the opposite of a butterface i guess
i like dodeka face banks. i want one. and until i get one i will keep drawing or painting them. i just remembered i have an amazon gift card so maybe i should just order it....  

iisa rinna likes the portrait i made of her in chocolate in 2014 but wont get in touch with me about sending her the original. i love you lisa